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I was contented and happy now after all those unhappiness that happened.... im happy that someone who truely loves me stood by me... loves me for who i am... it saddens me that i actually make his feel the sadness that i gone thru... but now i want to start a new chapter in 2006... its going to end soon but i wish to exit 2006 as happy as i entered it.... i can still remember... 010106... it happen to be the first day of the yr and it to be my birthday... hahahaha... i had an enjoyful day out with my bf.. n had a suprised birthday celebration at home.. where all my bestest frens are gathered and celebrate it with me... yeay... as happy as i where back than i want to gain that happiness again... where i got all my loved ones with me.... now i pray that everything will be back to normal... im not selfish in attaining my happiness... i just wants wats mine....
~little by little i have letting everything bout the past go.. if only i am not that naive...~
Regarding my previous post... i had some thinking going on.... do i need a fren who would constantly making use of me... do i need such frenS? i dont think so.. i had forgotten about one thing.. that is to listen to reasons.. all i did was listen to my heart.. haiz... im such a naive gal... that can be easily fooled by sweet nothings... im all occupied by this stupid mess that i created myself when should be focusing on my studies since it is my last yr.... there are so much things to be done n im here thinking of unimportant stuff... haiz... i should get my piorities rite... rite? hahaha... all i need now is my bf... he will be giving me the encouragement i needed when everybody else is busy with their own private life...
~frens comes n goes... but wat really matters are those who will always stay by ur side no matter wat happens~
Honestly im not a person that likes to look for enemy.. i dunno y but i dont wish to lose any of my frens.. be it new or old.. haiz... if i can i will choose to be frens than hv any special feelings involve.. coz all its going to do towards the friendship is just break up... hmmm... a fren got ask me this question before ' can u treat ur exs as ur fren?' i said yes y not.. coz i have make frens with my exs too.. den i ask him the same question.. he said.. i cant coz frens will be just frens.. frens do not have any feelings of love involve... n so the best way to do is just avoid being frens coz its going to be akward to change that relationship thingy to friendship thingy... hmmm.. maybe i just expect hm to be my fren after wat had happen but it seems taht he treats me as an enemy coz i do not repay his love for me.. but all i can do is to catch up on his life without him knowing.. i just have to do my part as afren.. nothing more.. nothing less... if only he knows how important a friendship is to me.... i guess im lacking of frens.. haiz.. my closes fren... where are they.. now i know im not the only one who is changing.... the ppl ard me changes too.. may it be maturing or vice versa.. haiz... all i can do is wish for the future... that my closes fren will just stick to me... i am a weak soul without them... i love u all.. thanks for appearing in my life....
~if only i can bring a smile in every single sould that i noe.. but im no god that are able to do so.. so i just wish u all a happy life ahead of u~
I should hv follow my heart when it says i should call u... but i pray that the bad feeling i have is just a false alarm... i dont wish anything to happen to u... hmmm... i guess now i am regreting my decision for not doing it so.... i dunno where i get the sudden urge to call u... maybe god had given me that courage to ease my worries.. but then again.. the news ive got really saddens me... im really sorry to what had happen to u gradma... i wish i could be by ur side giving u encouragement n maybe be ur companion... i felt so bad... for not being there for u... im not sure y im crying but i hope u will share ur pain or sorrows with me... i really hope for it to happen... but all this will have to depend on u...
~i hope u are ok... just call me if u need me coz im not sure if u would entertain me if i had called u~
I want to let it all out bout somethings are meant to be kept... but all i can say is that i miss u... hmmm... if only u knew wats in my mind everytime memories keep knocking on the door... i wish we can still be frens but than again.. u say it feels akward to be frens after wat happens.. i dont blame u but sometimes ur ego is so big for me to handle... i really wish u all the best where ever u ar n with whoever u be... i hope u will remember me... but not the person who breaks ur heart but something nicer... hmmm... if only i can tell u want in my mind.. but we will end up in square 1.... rite? hahahhaha... i hope time will heal all sorrows... cheer up.. u n me have a long way to go.. maybe our path will cross again like wat had happen on 9th of Sept... dont worry inn any occasion esp ur birthday i will send u a wishing msg.. hehehehe... i dont expect any reply.. but i hope u r happy with just 1 msg that i send u.. orite.. take care my fren.. i will keep the memories safe n sound.. hahahaha.. bluek.. hahahaha...
~for u i will~
Read this in one of my fren's friendster... it was given to him as a testimonial... but the writting of this testimonial is so meaningful to me... im holding back my tears when i read it... it so true in my context...
Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we LoVe we fail to recognize & appreciate the people who LoVe us.
We miss out on so many beautiful things & simply because we allow ourselves to been slaved by our own selfish concerns.
Go for the man of deeds & not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you LoVe but the man who LoVes you more.
The best LoVers are those who are capable of LoVing from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the LoVe deep within your being.
To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop LoVing, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back.
Letting go is not just setting the other person free,but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, & anger that keep in your heart.
Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength & weaken your faith & never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it.
You may found peace in just LoVing someone from a distance not expecting anything in return.
But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow.
We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace & happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.
There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice & beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to thatperson.
This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives & eventually consumes our thoughts & actions.
The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.
We start our desperate attempt to get noticed & be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded & we end up being sorry for ourselves.
You don't have to forget someone you LoVe.
What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.
Believe me; you would be better off giving that dedication & LoVe to someone more deserving.
Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible & let your mind speak for itself.
Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.
Always remember that if you lose someone today,it means that someone better is coming tomorrow:
If you lose LoVe that doesn't mean that you failed in LoVe.
Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt & the bitterness that the past has left with you.
Let go of yesterday & LoVe will find its way back to you & when it does, pray that it may be the LoVe that will stay & last a lifetime.
Sigh!
I am still learning...
Life is Beautiful…
Take care & GOD Bless...
~i should hv kept my distance from u when i knew that u will only bring me pain~
Its been a long time since ive updated my blog... lost some part of myself... in the process of healing after a huge trauma... n im still recuperating... now i will let everything pass... there is no more fond memory to cling onto.. just a sense of betrayal n heart pain.. but its ok... i got to learn frm my experiences... i cannot be too trusting especially when feelings is involve... i trusted u.. so much n i even thinks of give in ur way but after wat happen... i just cant forgive u.. u kept scolding me n putting the blame on me... im not a small kid anymore... n its u who is selfish not me... good-bye... i wish u all the best...
~i just wish u be by my side.... but wat happen has open my eyes wide enough to noe wats rite n wats wrg...~
dearest bestie...
honestly im a bad listening partner.. but if u need a clown im always here... the fact that u wish to severe ties with me is a big blow to me.. wateva happens i will not leave u...phases in life changes us.. i too changed... when we were young and naive.. there are lesser problems to think about.. everyday is like a playing in the playground.... nvr even bothered by things that happen ard us... i wish we were still very young and free... not bounded by any problems... that was the time u feel the purest friendship... i hope u forgive me all that ive done.. even for just cheering u up...
~frens come n go like the wind.. but bestie will always hung on to u like a weed.. no matter how many times u wish u cut me up i will still grow on u...~
