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Im very tired... To even think of was gonna happen next in my life... Im just tired of holding on something that Im not sure that i can handle... Haiz.. I just want to rest.... Love you...
It has been a long time since ive updated my blog.. It is due to some reasons.. Firstly my comp broke down.. So i just get to use the common comp after my brother used it.. Which is not often.. Second its because my time are filled for studying purpose.. hahah... Like real.. I keep snoozing off when i start to read my notes.. Lastly I dun have mood to blog since my life is so boring.. hahahaha.. Hmmm... I tell you right now wat im feeling.. Im feeling rather restless.. Hmmm.. Maybe because of certain reasons... Actually its hard to explain wat im feeling right now.. haiz.. Dunno la.. maybe i should end it here..
Haiz mugging for test is stressing me up.. I dunno how am i able to face thru the exams.. I just hold on to these words of encouraging... " To excel there are somethings that you need to sacrifices.." I want to excel badly and i am sacrificing alot of things.. I hope its going to worth.. To my dear ones... Im not able to go out for jln raya that much coz i need to study and i envy you guys that can collect duit raya.. hahahaha.. I want to but studies comes first... haiz.. I cant go out much often as much as i want to also.. The promise i had made i will hold on to it tightly.. Piorities piorities and piorities...hahahaha... I will not let our 'friendship' affects my studies.. hehehehe.. I miss everyone i love out there... hahaha.. pri sec poly and uni friends + jss students and teachers.. hehehe...
I dunno how to describe wat im going thru yesterday... I just know its a very bad day.. haiz.. Is controlling my emotion is a bad thing.. I tried not to be affected by it but the more I tried to control it the more pain it brings to my chest... Its like my heart is expanding but there is no enough space for it to expand.. Thats when my chest hurts.. Its scares me that it hurts... Then I started to let go of my emotion.. Accept the fact that Im truely hurt by wats going on...And releases drops of tears... Only then i felt relieve... Somehow I do need your presence to feel motivated.. School is already tough as it is... Accepting the fact that your retreating is tougher...
Selamat Hari Raya To my fellow frens Maaf Zahir dan Batin Have an enjoyable Aidil Fitri... Love You!!!
Yesterday was super fun.. Had alot of mission to do..Firstly went to ICA to collect my new passport...Took us less than 1 hour.. Den i went to bencoolen street to buy my ingredients to make cinnamon roll... Then meet my mum at tekka market before going home together... Slept all the way back home.. hahahhaa... When reach home i strated to bake for my cinnamon roll.. I was actually scared if it doesnt turn out well u noe.. Coz the dough was too soft.. hahahhaa.. Baked it and it turns out great... Next mission was to send all my baked stuff to ajushi.. Its meant to be a suprise la.. But the suprise was not a suprise instead i was the one who is being suprised.. hahahaha.. Was kinda of late when i reach there... Should have gone out earlier.. hahahha.. Den after that I met my secondary sch frens for iftar at simpang bedok.. hahahaha.. It saddens me only 6 ppl including me were present.. The rest enggak tahu dong ke mana mereka pergi.. hahahhaha.. But this group of frens really rocks.. I love you guys... After buka we went to geylang.. I thought i would miss the chance of going to geylang this year... hahahah.. Thanks you guys.. And I love a pair of shoes there.. Im going to get it soon.. hahaha... And something weird happen at geylang.. An old primary sch fren can still recognise me.. hahaha.. The guy is one of those 'hot' ppl in sch.. And it suprises me he could stil recognise me even though he cant remember my name.. hahahaha.. 
How do I go by in controlling my emotions or should i say limiting it... Im falling deeper and deeper into something im actually scared getting myself into.. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... I dunno how to express myself..... hahahaha
Feel rather sickly these days.. If its because im lack of sleep I doubt so.. If its because of the weather i think that would be the most likeable source.. hahahaha.. Had a flu with bits of blood in it.. I consider its a norm already because my body is so heaty.. hahahaha.. I can still remember one incident back in secondary sch.. It was just after p.e, my frens and I were walking back to our class.. While walking and chatting, suddenly i felt like a drop of liquid drops on my shirt.. When I look at it i was suprise to see it was blood.. hahah.. Everyone was panicky .. But i was acting cool... hahahah... coz all the attention was on me.. hahahahh...
Yesterday I took my driving license test.. And I FAILED... ANd its all due to the mistakes I never commit before in my entire car practise... haiz.. Honestly im truely dissapointed at myself.. I cursed the tester for making me kanchong.. haiz... But than again y should i feel pressurised.. rite.. haiz... I did cried alot yesterday until my eyes is all red.. Malu jugak nak tunjuk muka pat org... haiz.. But im begining to realised that I need to accept the failure to be able to move on.. Hopefully this failure makes me a better driver i guess.. hahahah.. Like ajushi said... Everything happens for a reason.. If i were a given a pass but im not ready for the road i might end up in an accident and may lose my life also.. so yeah I ve move on.. heheheh.. Its doesnt saddens anymore... To my loved ones... Im very sorry to make u guys to go thru that ordeal just because i had a very bad day.. I maybe as stubborn as a mule but my heart is easily bruised and i can shed these tears freely.. For the bottom of my heart Im sorry..
