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I think i did the rite thing.. Ive decided to cut some ties before things gets out of hand.. i didnt know where the strength comes from... But I just thinks its for the better... Before both of us gets hurt any further or ppl ard us getting hurt.. I decided to back off.. My heart is crying.. But this is the best solution for us... I hope u forgive me and keep those memories well... I dont want to take u for granted already nor i want to make use of u... Before things gets worst its best we just end it here... If we are bound to meet again lets just forget about the past.. And start a new friendship... I dont hold against u nor I hate u... So take care...
I had to take assesment for my driving lesson today n u noe wat i failed it... I had 72 demerit points just by driving in the circuit n on the road... This really pissed me of.. I cant think straight.. My mind is troubled by someother stuff and honestly I dont like that instructor.. haiz.. No offence instructor.. Im not used to have u there.. hahahah... I wonder how would i fair during the practical test.. Actually after the lesson end i felt like crying.. Coz it was a total failure... Now i understand wat it means to be dissapointed.. like Abdillah said.. haiz...
PrejuDice.. 
-HearT theM-
School is starting real soon for me.. Before sch starts i need to sit for QET test.. Which is equivalent to english language... I noe my weakness is in my english language.. But my strengths are many... hahahahaha... Well it is already bad during the secondary sch days... But manage to pull thru the grades for o level... hehehehe... That is y i decline to be promoted to the express stream and also going to junior college.. I rather shine with my strengths than my weaknesses.. hahaha... My frens will disagree with the decision i made... But i noe wats good and bad for me rite... For those who have stayed with me all these years u should roughly noe me... hehehehe...
Blood and Roses is the theme of the camp I went to... It was super cool.. Super duper cool.. hehehehe.. Blood were plague, prejudice, despair and chaos... Will Roses were salvation, grace, provedence and innocence... But the main objective is to find innocence who had disappeared and who will win the war of good and evil... Im from the group of blood, prejudice... And my facilitators were Suhaila and Mohammad.. love them.. heheheh.. And my other theam members are Nadz, Husna, Zawiah and Alam... love them too.. First activity of the day was the ice breaker game.. hehehehe.. It was funnnnnn... Real fun.... Dah lama takde lots of fun mcm ni.... After the ice breake, this is where the real fun begins... Or should i say the war has begun... It begins with with a short drama by the seniors.... It depicts the reason behind the war.. And thus we were assigned to our groups... The next activity was the amazing race... We had to run up n down to find the location of the game station... It was damn tiring but kinda of enjoying too.. hehehhe.. I did get wet on my buttons while trying to get the baloon to burst... hahahaha... We will get the clue for the night activity after finishing every game.. The purpose of the night activity was to find the reason why innocence disappear.. And fortunately we did it.. hehehehe.. Not thanks to mohammad but thanks to our hard work.. good job gals... And after the tiring day full of fun filled activities we rest our body at assyakirin mosque.. Second day in camp started very early in the morning... Had our breakfast at the mosque and headed back to ntu for our sport activites... Which is tug-of-war and futsball.. For both sports the bloods won.. And prejudice won the tug of war... All thanks to mohammad's good strategy... But unfortunately the blood loses against roses in the next activity that is save the prisoner.... hehehehe.. Did u noe y we lost.. Its because the seniors were helping the roses so much.. hahahaha.. Last activity for the camp was the night walk... Night walk was held at perkuburan pusara aman at jalan bahar... I guess it as much but didnt think that its gonna happen.. Unfortunately it does... And I was scared... Scared that I might stumble upon something I didnt want to see.. hahahahaha... Alhamdullilah nothing happens.. But it leaves something good behind.. My faith... And after the night walk we rest our body at Al-Firdous Mosque..The last day of the camp was so emotional.. It was sad to leave the new friendship that was just build but wats matter most was not to say good bye to my fellow friends... That was because my little brother had just collapse in school.. I need to pick him up with my mum.. I didnt noe that his condition was so serious that we need to call for an ambulance.. And he had to be admitted to the doctor.. I was scared something bad will happen to him... Alhamdullilah everything was fine... So that was my activity for the whole week.. yeah...
Yesterday me, ain and dayana went to watch the exhibition of fireworks at esplanade... It was superb... While watching the fireworks, i was so engrossed and amazed on how beautiful it can be until i forgot to close my mouth.. hahahahaha... Even though the fireworks lasted for 15-20 mins it is still fitted nicely in my books of memories... Having to watch it with my favourite bestfriends makes it more wonderful.. hahahaha... Den we chill out at starbucks and savour the donuts dayana bought it for us... Thanks babe.. It was superb... hehehehe.. While finish up our drinks and donuts we catch up on our individual life.. hehehehe... Den we proceed to SHOPPING.. for ain tina turner outlook... hahahaha... But we go back empty handed... As all the shop is closing... So its time to go back.. While walking towards the taxi stand, we stop for a while to take some pics... hahahaha... (d dont forget to give me ya the pics)... We are collecting some 'sweet memories' for ourself.. hehehehe... After the photo session finished, we head to the taxi stand but it was super long... So we move on to the other taxi stand but unfortunately most of the taxi is taken... So called my sis to pic me up.. N at the same time ain and d got their taxi.. so we parted... While I got to wait for my sis to come... hehehehehe.. to ain n d.. i had a great time.. unfortunately of time constrained that we cant spend time much time together.. awwwwwwwww.... love u guys...
Loving a SAILOR is a high price to pay
Loving him truly is HARD when he is away,
It's being alone with nothing to hold:
It's being young but feeling so old;
It's having him whisper his love for you;
It's whispering back you love him too;
There comes a kiss and a promise for more,
As his ship slowly glides away from the shore;
Reluctantly, painfully, letting her go
While your inside are dying from wanting him so;
Watching him leave with eyes full of tears,
Standing alone with your hopes, dreams and fears.
It's sending a letter with your stamp upside down
To a far away love in a far away town.
Being in love will foster your dreams
Of that far-away sailor your mind fairly beams.
Days go by, no mail for a spell,
You wait for some word to hear that he is well.
Then a letter arrives, and you're given in,
to open his letter and read it with a grin
Yes, he is well, and misses you so,
And filled with the love you wanted to know,
Weeks are like months, and months are like years,
You wait for the day when you'll have no more fears
Days go by slowly, how many have passed
Then suddenly you realize it's here at last.
Yes, loving a SAILOR bitterness and fears loneliness
Sadness and despondent years.
Loving a sailor is no fun
But it's worth the price when the battle is won
And remember he's thinking of you everyday,
he's sad and he's lonely while so far-away
so love him and miss him and hold your head high
be strong and have faith, wipe those tears from your eyes;
Your man's a seafarer, like that old ancient trader
It's a high price you pay for loving a SAILOR...
Having some insecurity im my relationship... After 6 months away from him... My feelings towards him is questionable... Its not that i dont love him but having being far from him for a long period of time makes my feelings numb... During his absence i would just forget that i miss him... Just to make me feel more comfortable and not worry about him to much... With time this is feeling just dissappear from my heart.. Its like I can live with or without him... N now i am worried that my feeling toward him is completely lost.. I kept thinking... My frens who had a partner will have a thought of getting married with their patner in the near future.. But me.... Im still not sure that i will marry my bf someday... To me I need to be practical... There is a long way ahead of me & I will be meeting alot of other ppl... If I choose to fix my 'soulmate'/'husband' would i be fair to my real soulmate... haiz... I do believe that Im destined to be with someone but im not sure if that someone is my current bf... haiz... I very confused as well as fustrated.. I wished that someone could show me the path i could take... Its already vexing enough that im hurting myself... I dont want to hurt my bf..
My favourite korean drama to watch is.....WITCH YOO HEE a.k.a WITCH AMUSEMENT
Just love everything about that drama.. Especially Ma Yoo Hee played by Han Ga In...For the first time I love looking at the actress compared to the actor... The storyline was superb too...I recommend those who loves k-drama like me to watch it.. Ciao...
Loooking at past pictures makes me kinda of sad... haiz.. How i wish i was back in sec school days... During sec sch days as a kid i was happy... Im contented with just frens and family... Now that im older... All that does not satisfy me to the fullest.. I just wondering wat was lacking in my life... haiz... Back then i go thru sch life very smooth n fun.. But now sch life is so tough... Its like im forcing myself to be the best that i could... And now i had to deal with relationships and friendship... I noe im not lack of frens... Just that I think im expecting to much from my frens... haiz... I used to hang ard with my frens back in sch days.. Now that im not schooling n most of my frens are working it feels that my world suddenly became so bored... No more fun and laughter we used to had.. I need to grow up...I need to be more matured... And get my thinking straight... But im struggling all my way there.. What should i do...? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......
Its funny how life is... We used to be ex-bf but now we are frens.. How is that possible rite.. Maybe we had the connection but not the substance... Met an ex today for dinner... Its been a while since i last saw him.. Its not me who initiate it... its himm.. hahahaha.. So org dah ajak i just follow... I only agree to his request due to the fact that he had a gf.. So i feel secured in kinda of way... hehehehe... I can get very unstable at times.. heheheh... So we talk will he had his dinner... Its kind of refreshing la... We talk over so many topic... I just hope we talk somemore... I think i got lots more to say but i guess he is tired... So we parted like we always do.. This is wat im not able to tell u... i noe i will nvr initiate a meet up even if i want to... I just dont want u to think that i had feelings for u.. Which i dont.. Ppl tends to misunderstood my intention... And i hope u will last long with ur gf... Your meant to be together.. yeay....
Geram nye................!!!!!!!! stupid gst... i thought i could book my pract thru internet but because of insufficient amount in my account cannot book... den tried using my mum credit card also cannot.. so geram u noe.. now i lost a slot for next week.. haiz... one less slot for me to achieve my driving license... geram la.. kalau tak dah ok tau.. haiz.. no point already.. have to wait till fri.. haiz...
HAPPY TWO YEARS ANNIVESARY ! ! ! ! !
It has been a busy week for me... Coz my grandmother is shifting house.. So the rest of us were busy cleaning up the house... We paint clean and get rid of all dirt.. It was damn tiring for all of us but too bad cannot do anything... heheheh... Its for our grandparents... As long as they are happy we grand children will be happy too... Wats even better is that the new house will be like a runaway house for us.. Espesially those with problems... hehehehhe... its very accessible.. and there are shopping centre, markets and foodcourts a walking distance from the house.. hehehe.... I hope we get all the things done in no time so that my grandparents will move in time with my grandmother's birthday... heheheheh...
Didnt hear any news from him.. not even a single email.. he did not reply to my mails.... hopefully there is nothing bad happen onboard... im not usually worried but his silence really makes me wonder wat has happen to him... hopefully everything when smoothly for him... just now meet with an old fren.. after so long we nvr meet.. we decide to meet up... he is non other than omar.. hahhahahaha... although we doesnt end up as couples we are contented to have each other as bestfrens... i hope our friendship will sustain... n all of us will live happily ever after... hehehe...
